As I gear up to attend another convention -- my brain a beehive of both excitement and dread -- my heart goes out to my fellow introverts. Rarely understood, often made to feel weird, we do our best to maintain our composure in the face of ridicule, social pressure, and the aggression of well-meaning extroverts. With that in mind, here are a few stray thoughts I've had about introversion over the years. And now to get ready for a weekend of fake smiles and daydreaming through conversations...
-Someone needs to coin a word for the look of disgusted confusion that extroverts give us introverts when we tell them we'd rather stay home.
-There ought to be "introvert tents" set up at all public gatherings, although I suppose that might defeat the purpose.
-Some of my friends, current and former, will vouch for this: Never jump on an introvert's back in public. It is freaky, and you will get punched.
-Introverts aren't unfriendly. They just don't need any more conversations to remember, faces to recognize, or people to keep track of.
-If you have a child who's an introvert, here's the best thing to do: Leave her alone, and if any motherfucker calls her "shy," punch him.
-The real world doesn't frighten introverts. Okay, so it kind of does. But mostly it's just boring. Inside our heads is where the action is.
-Introverts spend their entire lives making excuses and going to elaborate lengths in order to seem otherwise. Thanks, Extrovert World Order.
-One thing that will lure this introvert out of doors: a ticket to see
Alice Cooper at the Paramount Theater in Denver on 11/23. You don't need to come with... :)